Monday, October 11, 2010

Gays and Lesbians and Mormons, Oh My!

I have spent many days wondering how to approach this, but knowing that I needed to say something regarding all the hatred that has been felt on both sides of this controversy. It has been a struggle to try to decide how much of myself I should put into this, or if I should just present facts. Every one has an opinion on this subject and I feel as though I can't stay quiet any longer and that I need to voice my opinion and in a way defend my way of life.

In order to help everyone understand where I am coming from, I will need to take you back 16 years. It all started before that time, but when I was 18 years old is when everything came to that climatic moment when the whole world falls apart. I spent my teenage years in a household that was ran by two lesbian partners, one of which was completely insane and expected everyone within the household to be lesbian. I spent many times during my high school years being treated horribly and punished just because she could punish me because I didn't live the life style of the household. There were many things that I felt and wished for during that time, that if my mom knew how hard it was for me it would hurt her horribly. When I got engaged at 18, everything fell apart and she kicked me out of the house. One month before my wedding that was supposed to be wonderful and a time for me to spend with my mom planning it, I was homeless and with no support from my family.

I realize that I'm in the minority for having something like this happen, however, it is important that you know this so that everyone can understand that I do have empathy for those teenagers that are looking for a place where they fit in and where they can be loved for who they are. I know that we all get to make our own choices in this life as to how we will live our lives and not all of us will fit into one master mold of how we should all be. I am thankful that there are support groups out there to offer help and support for when things like this happen to other teens. When I went through losing my home and a large part of my family I was lucky enough to have my Dad and my future in-laws to step in and help me through. It's not like we have a straight community center I could turn to.

I am now a wife and mother and a proud member of the Church of Latter Day Saints of Jesus Christ. I am raising my children to understand the ways of God and to also be loving and supportive of how other people want to live their lives. They love their Grandma's very much and their Aunt. We have several family friends that are gay and lesbian and when we get together with them it is just like any other family party you would see in any other home. We just have more families that have parents that are of the same sex.

With all of that said, I need to say thank you to Elder Packer for being strong enough to share with us what God wanted us to know. I am thankful that, just like prophets of old, he was willing to face the backlash that would come by calling a people to repentance (not just homosexuals, but all of us). The whole point of our General Conference is for us to hear from our leaders what they have been inspired to share with us, what our Heavenly Father knows that we need at this time to strengthen us and to prepare for things that may be coming. It is our responsibility to take the time to prayerfully ponder the words that we have heard or read and learn of their truth for ourselves and how to incorporate them into our lives. If you're spending the time to listen and find that you hear something that you can't incorporate into your life, that is fine. I hear things that I'm not ready to hear and it takes me time to be ready to make that change in my life. But, does that really require you to make signs and protest outside of our religious buildings.

I'm not going to take the time to find facts and articles to back up the fact that the LDS faith is not the only religion that has taken this stance on homosexuality, but it is the only one that I see under attack. This, obviously, could just be that I'm here in Utah and am not aware of everything happening all over the Country. However, I find it interesting that no one has protested outside the Cathedral of the Madeleine. I haven't seen anyone sitting in quiet protest around the First Southern Baptist Church of Salt Lake*. What is it that draws so many negative people to attack my religion so openly?

When I was kicked out of my home because I wouldn't be a lesbian, I did not hold it against the whole homosexual community. I did not go to the news channels and cause a big stink. I did not protest or vandalize your homes or your community center. Think back to the late 1980's and early 1990's, there were several things that I could have done that would have had reaching affects to this day. But, would it have made me a better person to punish a whole group that does consist of some amazing people? It does no good to sink to that level. It will not get you the results you want by sinking to a level where you group everyone together and hate that group without taking into account the individuality that is part of that group.

I'm not even sure how to end this other than to share with you a strong impression that I just received. We have a loving Father in Heaven that is struggling with watching his children hurt each other and tear each other down instead of helping each other. We are His children and we should be treating each other as brothers and sisters. Instead of placing blame and pointing fingers, we should be learning about each other and finding ways to lift each other up to be the best person we can be. I don't want to make this sound like I don't understand the gravity of what is happening, I just wish that we could learn to be a better people.

*The Religions that I listed are just 2 that I chose from the phone book and are there for no other reason than just that they stood out to me.

4 comments:

  1. Very well said! I've been struggling with this as well since I have a ton of friends from the Gay community and you said to a tee how I'm feeling.

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  2. I was there for those tough high school years and you have come out to be an amazing women who has found that right balance between respecting and showing your true love for your family and also showing your love for the church..... I love ya girl....

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  3. Thank You Michele!! I'm still a little nervous as to how this is going to be taken by everyone. Your continued support and love means a lot. Thank you for always being there, even when I was a lost teen with weird hair and listened to Rock :)

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  4. I'm just glad you stand up for what you believe is right Rachelle.

    It's funny how people can take one sentence from a talk and completely ignore the rest of speaker's words.

    From the pulpit Elder Boyd K. Packer said, "Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn tendencies toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone?"

    To clarify his words for the text copy of the speech, the word "tendencies" was changed to "temptations" and the phrase "Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone?" was deleted. Instead he wrote after "Not so!" these words: "Remember, God is our Heavenly Father."

    Despite the alterations, his message remains the same. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not want it's members to participate in the gay/lesbian lifestyle and doesn't support such practices in society.

    Though Pres. Packer used different words in his talk than specific words that have been used in the past, he did not state anything new to what our church has been teaching from the get-go.

    I also find it interesting that nowhere in his talk did he condone a course of action to harm anyone. He simply stood up for what his Church believes and had been teaching and preaching for years.

    Interesting that in the same talk before all of the hub-bub came to the surface Pres. Packer also said, "Regardless of the opposition, we are determined to stay on course. We will hold to the principles and laws and ordinances of the gospel. If they are misunderstood either innocently or willfully, so be it. We cannot change; we will not change the moral standard. We quickly lose our way when we disobey the laws of God. If we do not protect and foster the family, civilization and our liberties must needs perish."

    I say, "Amen!" to his words.

    I know that being different is hard for anyone, but no where does the Church teach that it is okay to persecute anyone. We don't and we won't.

    It seems that even though Pres. Packer never said or told anyone to bully members of society who believe different than he does, that somehow that is his position.

    Not so!

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