Gravity

Now that I'm over 30, I have decided that gravity is not my friend anymore! Now gravity is just here to hold me to the ground, nothing more. This idea came to me this weekend when I got this crazy notion to pluck my eyebrows. I'm glad that I did take care of my long neglected eyebrows, they get the least amount of attention than any other area on my face. However, once I was about halfway through my right eye I discovered that I only have half an eyebrow. How do you end up with half an eyebrow? I'm being serious here, the back half is only blond hair.

It was at that moment that gravity stopped being my friend. I was patient when my arms changed. Still more patience when my butt fell and went flat. Even more patience when I noticed varicose veins. But these things can be covered up, I can wear longer sleeves and longer shirts and pants. I can't just grow hair! Especially when I have a feeling that gravity pulled that part of my eyebrow down to my chin. It's a good thing I had my Aunt Diane show me how to fill in my eyebrows before this happened. At least now I can draw on the rest of my eyebrow.

But, really my chin? Did you have to pull my eyebrow down to my chin? You couldn't have pulled it to a place that I can hide? You couldn't put it next to those varicose veins? I'm trying to find something positive in this and after much thought I finally decided that it will just help me to be an even scarier, uglier witch for Halloween. Now, I'll just feel bad for everyone around me while I let my chin "eyebrow" grow during October. I bet your jealous now, aren't ya? I can just get a costume and I won't even need makeup to become transformed into my character. See, now I have not only found something positive in losing half an eyebrow; I already have my Halloween costume planned for next year.

I know that I won't be able to have the final word in this, I've learned that gravity usually will get the last word. Even though I know this, I still want gravity to know that I'm not going down without a fight. And, I will keep fighting until you pull me six feet under!