A New Year with Lots of Heart

Normally people write about the new year in January when the year really is new.  This year, I have decided to go a different route and begin my new year in February.  I gave myself that first month off.  I would like to think it was for good behavior. But we all know it's not. Hahaha!

I honestly can't believe that it's February already.  This Sunday would be my dad's birthday.  Next week is Valentines Day.  We already had groundhog day, but who really pays attention to that little shit anymore?  He never has good news.  And it's not quite time for the munchkin and the rabbit.

We were talking the other night about Valentines Day and were remembering our first Valentines Day together.  When you are dating everything with that person is all new and exciting.  You are still trying to impress each other.  During that time in our lives, I was working in a call center during the evenings.  Kenny had bought me 2 dozen red roses.  They were arranged perfectly with just the right amount of baby's breath. He bought them in Tooele and then drove in to my apartment in Taylorsville with them.  He was so proud that he made it all that way without spilling them or hurting any of them in any way.  He sneaked in while I was at work that evening and placed them on our kitchen table.  He thought he would be sneaky and hide down the hall and give me a second surprise, him being there.  It was supposed to look like he just dropped them off and left.  The only problem with that plan, you ask?  Well, he forgot to hide his coat with him.  I asked my mom where he was and she told me he left.  I asked again where he was and she tried to tell me again that he was gone.  I asked a third time and she finally asked me why I didn't believe her.  I told her that his coat was sitting on the chair by the roses. She tried to convince me that he must have forgotten it, but he eventually came back down the hall. He was so bummed that I took that part of the surprise from him by figuring out that he was still there.

It was so memorable that to this day, 20 years later, I can remember that he was wearing his new Arizona jeans that had a dark wash to them, his Arizona button up shirt that was dark blues and purple. He had a brown suede coat (the one that was sitting on the back of the chair).  I can still remember the deep red of the roses and the amazing smell they had.  Kenny remembers my moms partner shooting him daggers of jealousy.

I remember that feeling of pure innocent joy.  Butterflies in my stomach.  The idea that at that moment, everything was right in the world.  Well, at least in my little world it was. He spent so much time figuring out what I would like and then going out of his way to surprise me with both little and big things. And moments.

We have all different kinds of Valentines Days since that first one.  They have been big celebrations with a weekend away and smaller remembrances of the love that we have for each other.  All have been good.

19

This is where it all started 19 years ago today in a church in a small town with 2 young people.  We knew it all and nobody was going to tell us what to do.  With a whole four months behind us and a whole lifetime ahead of us, we set off on our journey.

There have been many times when our journey has taken us down a nice straight tree lined road.  Things made sense and fell into order.  

More often than not, our journey has taken a meandering path that would wind back and forth and even double back on us.  The trick to this has been to learn how to find enjoyment along the way, slow down to enjoy the scenery, and to laugh often.

I wouldn't trade our years together for anything!

My Parents Wedding

I have a little kit that helps to give me things to write about and since I haven't been good at writing lately I decided I would turn to that and get some good ideas to write about so that I use my time wisely instead of griping about something useless in the news.  One of the ideas is to write about my mothers wedding dress and what I know about their wedding day.  Mom, please correct anything that I might get wrong.

I know that my parents were married in March, that was why I decided to write about this now. I don't remember the day but you can't really go wrong with writing about a wedding, so, there really wouldn't be a better way to start the month.

My parents met on a blind date and knew each other for 1 week when they got engaged and after only 5 more weeks they were married.  As crazy as that sounds they were actually a good match and were very good for each other.  They could show so much support for each other and would work hard to help each other to reach their goals and work toward some of their dreams.  There were obvious things that shouldn't be a part of a marriage that they had to contend with but they were wonderful and have also gave my sister and I so many good stories to share with each other and my children.  Humor was a large part of our family and part of their marriage.  They could always get through the tough times with humor (okay, that was after the yelling).  In that regard, what marriage doesn't have a little of that?

Growing up there was only one picture that I remember of my mom in her wedding dress.  She had a short, above the knee white wedding dress.  I think it was similar to the dress below but not exactly like it. It was just the best reference picture I could find that reminded me slightly of  her dress. My mom likes to say that something is just like whatever, but not.  That is kind of like the examples below. I remember her dress having an empire waist and her dress being simple with some decoration and I think some lace.

With her dress she wore a beautiful white hat that had a similar shape as the hat below. The big difference is that her hat had stripes of soft white and then a sheer white that you could see through. I think it could have had a design similar to the hat below in the fabric but I could be wrong with that part.  I just remember thinking how pretty she was in that picture and how much I wanted a similar dress when I got married. I also know that her bouquet was made of daisies.  The entire look was one of simple beauty and grace.

Below is the City and County building that is located in downtown Salt Lake City. This is where they were married by Senator Jake Garn.  My Grandpa (paternal) was a security guard at the building and knew all the people that worked there and was able to arrange to have them married by the Senator. By the end of the afternoon, LeRoy Mayo Shiflett II and Shauna Diane McCleery were married and ready to start their new life together.

 Now, we get to enjoy the true redkneck part of our family.  My dad's father thought it would be funny to handcuff them together as they left the building. For years I thought that they were handcuffed together until they were on their honeymoon, I finally found out from my mom recently that it was only until they got outside and then they were removed.  As a child I always wondered how they got them off once they were gone. For what ever reason, my dad felt that a romantic honeymoon could consist of driving out to Ely Nevada and staying with family.  That was their honeymoon.  We still like to tease my mom about this and she even laughs and agrees that it was an uncomfortable way to start their marriage.

However it happened and even with all the quirks that came with it, I will always be glad that my parents met and were married.  They brought 2 wonderful daughters into this world and taught them well (mom is still teaching us even though we think we're adults now).

A Jazz Game or A Jimmer Game

Kenny was able to get us tickets to the Jazz game on Saturday night. I was so excited to have a date night. We get a lot of evenings alone but we don't get to go out and do something very often.  So, this was a big night for us.  It really should have been just a perfect time but I let my snarky side out early in the evening and then it didn't want to go away (I'm thinking of blaming my cousin, it could be her influence that is helping me to foster this side of me.  Please note the level of sarcasm here.).

It all started when we were parking and the parking attendant asked me to move my car over. The guy beside me insisted on backing into his spot but he was way to far over so while I waited for him to move the parking attendant spoke with someone in a car behind me and then when I hadn't moved fast enough for him he came to tell me to move again.  I informed him that I was trying to move but and that is when he cut me off and spoke to me like I was 3 years old and said that he would help me.  Gee Thanks! Like I don't know how to back up my car.  I rolled my window down and as he "helped" me back up I caught his attention and explained that I can only move as fast as the people around me and that I had to wait for the guy next to me and then for the car behind me and that unless he wanted me to back into someone (I was thinking especially him) then he needed to be patient. I finished by yelling out my window as I pulled forward that he didn't need to treat me like an idiot. I am still embarrassed that I actually yelled at him.

Once inside it was wonderful and we sat next to one of Kenny's coworker's and his wife who were both very nice.  Once they started to announce the players for the teams my snarky side came back out.  When they announced Jimmer, who now plays for the Kings, the crowd went crazy and gave him a huge welcome.  They cheered more for him than the entire Jazz team.  That is how it went through the whole game.  I couldn't believe how the people there would give him encouragement and cheer for him and barely notice what the Jazz players were doing.  It became very clear, very quickly that for the majority of the people there that there was only  one player on the entire court and that was Jimmer.  I felt so embarrassed for "our" team.  There were some boos from the crowd at times when Jimmer had the ball but overall there should have been much more support for our Jazz.  I had so many comments during the game that I won't share here because I already shared my slight freak out moment with the parking attendant and that was bad enough, everyone would hate me if I shared half of what I thought and shared with Kenny during the game.  Kenny finally decided that the whole place was off (there was a disturbance in the force) because we had so many people from UT county there for the game.

We really did have a ton of fun and even spent some time remembering our first date and where we sat.  I am so proud that the Jazz won the game!!!  It was a good night that I will remember for a very long time and not because of who was there but because I got to enjoy so much time with my husband watching a sport we both enjoy while eating ice cream.

Sunday Drive

Kenny and I decided to go for a drive last night to look around at a couple homes that we had found for rent. Our lease is up in a couple of months and we are trying to decide if we want to pay the new higher amount and stay or pay close to the same or a little higher and move. I really don't want to move, I like where we are at.

We drove over to Taylorsville to look at a condo that was still a 2 bedroom but was huge. We accidentally turned onto the wrong street and, oh my, can we say GHETTO! We found the ghetto of Taylorsville. The street that we were looking for was one street over and it looked the same. I know that every city can have one, I just didn't think that my old stomping ground would have an area that bad.

For kicks and giggles we decided to drive out to West Valley (almost Magna, but not) to see a modular home. Once again, we pulled onto the wrong street and we both were very happy that the doors were locked. This was past ghetto, this was a big hell no!! We went down the street and found the correct "neighborhood" and it was better but still not quit right for us.

While we were out for our Sunday Drive we used the time the best we could. We keep thinking of looking at a couple mobile home parks over by where one of Kenny's co-workers lives. We hopped onto the freeway and headed to a slightly better part of West Valley and started looking. The first one we looked at was actually really nice. It was so clean and quiet and there were lots of spots open if we wanted to pick out a brand new modular home and put in that development. I hope you're noticing my well chosen wording, they are neighborhoods, not the aluminum ghetto! Totally a Kenny term. We went down the street to the next neighborhood and even though I know there are a lot of homes in there to rent, there was also a lot of children out running wild and playing at 9:30 at night. Not quit right for us again.

Our last stop was some condo's that are in a better part of Taylorsville. We found one neighborhood that was wonderful and there were even 2 condo's in there for sale. That one was right for us, at least on the outside in twilight. We went to the next condo neighborhood that was just South of the first one and it was so crammed together. I can handle living in close Quarters, but that was beyond what I could deal with. That one got a very quick no as soon as we pulled in and I saw how it was set up. I don't think I'm that hard to please, but we found some doosies last night. It made me grateful for what we already have.

I was also grateful that we got to watch the little rainbow change and the sky change to the East as the sun went down behind us in the West. Driving around with my sweetheart surrounded by beauty really made me think and remember how blessed I already am and that I don't need more, I already have all my needs met.

May 4, 1995

This was the day that I promised to be with my best friend for time and all eternity. Even when I look back now I am still in amazement that we actually made it to the Temple and were sealed a year after we were married. Our first year of marriage came with so many trials that once we made it through all the funerals and postpartum depression, we really didn't have a good reason to ever throw away our marriage that we had worked so hard to hold together that first year.

When I say funerals, there was only two before we were sealed. Kenny's next door neighbor from his childhood died suddenly in an accident while he was away at Guard (he was in the Air National Guard). That was hard because he was one of the men in the area that had taken Kenny under his wings and helped him through those awkward teenage years. My foster brother, who had been battling cancer for several years, passed away not to long after. I think he was only six years old (or somewhere right around there) when his battle ended. It was nice to think that he was without pain but it was so hard to see his little casket. The third death was our little girl. We didn't get to have a funeral for her and neither Kenny nor I got to ever hold her. She was born early with several birth defects and died during delivery. I think of her often and think about each milestone that we have missed. Hormones are not one of those that have been missed :) Two months after we were sealed my dad passed away suddenly of a heart attack.

After going through all of this (even though my dad's was yet to come), here we are before we left for the Salt Lake Temple. We had worked so hard to reach this point and all though I was extremely nervous, I was as excited as I had been on our wedding day the year before.

This is the Salt Lake Temple and where we were sealed for time and all eternity. It was a magical day and I was so completely pampered while we were there. I had the most beautiful dress to wear that day. It was so me, it was more Victorian looking and had an empire waist. I loved it, I wanted to bring it home. I still remember it 16 years later. I promise that I do remember more than just the dress that I wore. I can remember everything like it was today, all the emotions that came with the commitments that we made and all the love that was shown to us and that we felt for each other. We do have the traditional pictures of us in front of the Temple but most of them are of us being silly and you can see Kenny pulling faces in them. The only one that sort of turned out has us so far away in the picture that you can hardly see us. So instead of bothering with any of those pictures I just have the Temple. Please also notice that along with all the other beautiful spring flowers that are in the picture that we also have the state summer "flower" in the bottom corner. I just noticed them myself, the lovely orange cones. Below is Kellie and Duane Shephard. Kellie was Kenny's friend from high school and she became my friend after we were married. Kellie was my chaperon that day because it was my first time going to the Temple. She was there to help me and walk me through each step. We have lost touch over the years, but I still remember her being there for me that day and how much love and patience she had with me.

We had so many loved ones with us that day, both in person and in spirit. Kenny's Aunt Katheryn (and her now ex-husband Dave) were there along with his Aunt Patricia and his Uncle Steve. Bob and Sharon Brand came which was so extremely nice. My Aunt Fran even surprised me and came on her lunch. I had no idea she even knew that we were being sealed that day, but she arranged her lunch (she worked right down town then and was only a couple blocks away) so that she could be there for me. Kenny's mom was even there to meet us outside and be there to celebrate with us.

I can't believe that all of this was 16 years ago. There were so many people who helped us to get through each of our trials and I am so thankful for each and every one of you. Without you, we wouldn't have been blessed with the blessings that we now get to enjoy forever!

17 years ago we said "I Do"

This is us 17 years ago today. It was such an amazing day that is full of memories and happiness. I married my best friend that day and have been blessed to have him by my side ever since. I like to joke with Kenny that we were betrothed before we came to earth, our meeting and our marriage was meant to be. I can't believe that I was 18 in this picture and Kenny was 21. We were so young and yet understood the seriousness of what we were doing.

From the day that we met I knew that he was the "one" and that somehow things would work out for us to get married even though we had some differences to work through. I will always be thankful for some wonderful advice that Adrian gave me when he could tell that I was struggling with some big decisions that needed to be faced. There were so many times that either one of us could have changed our minds and said that this was just too hard, but we didn't, we talked through all of our fears, our plans for the future, and all the reasons why we could still make things work. I know it has only been 17 years since we said "I Do" but as I look back over the years I love to see how things have followed what we had planned and how a few of those plans have changed.

On April 16, 1994 none of those things were on my mind. I spent the morning getting my nails done and then my dad picked me up and drove me to Grantsville. Kenny's Grandma had spent days and days making carrot cake for us to serve at the reception. Kenny's aunt Katherine did my hair and it turned out wonderful. His aunt Patti made our wedding cake and it was amazing. We didn't have any decorations for our reception until that afternoon when Kenny's uncle Roger brought over some decorations he had from a previous event and things quickly came together. We had to wait until an unexpected funeral was over so that we could get into the church and decorate and get everything ready. We were young and poor and our Mom's were both single mom's and didn't have a lot of money, but our wedding and reception turned out wonderful because of all the family that pulled together and made our day one to remember. I am still so grateful for everyone who pulled together and worked so hard so our wedding could be so nice for us. Even after so much time, I still don't know how to truly thank all that stepped in and helped.

We got married in the same church as Kenny's mom and dad got married in. When I found out that we got married in the same place as his parents I thought that was so neat and a memory that we will all always share. We were so blessed to have all of our family around us for our wedding ceremony and for our reception. I look back and think of how hard I was on myself and know now that we could have been married in the Temple, however, none of our family would have been with us. Even knowing that we could have just been married in the Temple instead of waiting a year to be sealed, I wouldn't have changed a thing. I think it would have broken my heart to not have my parents with me and my sister with me when I was married. I know that Kenny feels the same way.

Over the 17 years that we have been married we have faced many challenges and I am so proud of us for not running away from any of the hardships that have come our way. I am also proud of us to have used those times to grow closer. It hasn't always been easy (I knew it wouldn't be) but our life together so far has been worth every challenge and adventure that we have shared.

I still can't believe that it has been 17 years since my dad walked me down the isle (and stopped offering us money to not get married :) ) and we stood before so many of our family and friends and pledged to love one another for the rest of our lives. There are days like today when the memories of that day are still so fresh in my mind that it feels like yesterday.

I love you Kenny and will for all eternity! I am so thankful that we were brought together and now I get to spend forever with my best friend.

My Love

When I think about how we met, I think of what a miracle it was that we were brought together. My best friend from high school, Michele, met this amazing guy, Adrian, and they got engaged. They were both insisting that I needed to meet his friend when he got home from his mission. I had a month to think about meeting Kenny and thought it would be fun to meet but I hadn't been going to church for years and Kenny was coming home from his mission. I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. We meet on December 4, 1993. We went to a Jazz game with Michele and Adrian and ended up having so much fun. We just clicked that night and it scared me so much. We had our first kiss that night and then we sat in the backseat of Adrian's car and talked for hours.

I truly thought that I had scared him away once we were done talking. I shared everything about me that night, I figured he had the right to know before we went to much further. He wasn't scared and he called me the next morning to ask if he could come over and see me again. We spent the day watching football and then went to see a movie. After the movie we went to see the lights on Temple Square and Kenny told me that when he was ready to get married it would only happen in there. I already knew that he was the one but thought that I could never just get married in the Temple. I told him that night that it had been nice to know him but that I didn't think this was going to work. I am so thankful that he didn't give up on me so quickly.

He proposed to me on December 17, 1993 and we got marriage on April 16, 1994. Our engagement was short but we had a lot to talk about, pray about and try to figure out. Kenny insisted that we get married and then he could be there by my side so we could work together to be sealed in the Temple. He was right and was so patient. We were able to be sealed in the Salt Lake Temple in May 1995.

In April we will celebrate our 17th Anniversary. From the first day we met we have had many obstacles to overcome, but through all of it he has been there by my side to help me or for me to help him. Kenny has been amazing since our first little butting of the heads on our second date. I didn't know that I could love someone any more than I did when we met 17 years ago but I have learned that love can change and grow and become something so much more. Even though we aren't perfect and we can argue and butt heads, we love each other so much and have learned over the years how to talk to each other so that we can understand each other.

Kenny, thank you so much for being so patient and loving over the years. Thank you for always being there and taking such good care of me. I love you so much! You are such a good and loving husband and an amazing father. Thank you for taking your spare time to research and learn about my new diagnoses. It helps me to know that you are trying to understand and you have been so patient with me. I thank our Heavenly Father every day for making sure we came together and for blessing me with such a good husband and friend to spend my life with.

Provo, UT Girls - BYU Divine Comedy

I know, I already added this to my Facebook page. But, I just love how we can have fun with our differences. This is just too funny not to add it here as well. I love it when someone can look at their life and make fun of it, I do it all the time. Maybe I should record one of our family dinners so everyone can see how we have fun making fun of ourselves.

I also don't know if it's sad or funny that I didn't go to the Y and I fit into most of what they are making fun of in the song. Not the tree part though! Seventeen years ago I was lined up on a blind date with an RM. I was 18 and finally not baby hungry. That whole baby hungry part came back quickly after we were married though. I still have the ticket stubs to the Jazz game that we went to and remember that first date like it was yesterday (I'm pretty sure Michele and Adrian remember it well also, sorry). I also remember our second date when he told me the only way he would get married was in the Temple and I told him, "well, it's been nice to know you. Goodbye." We made it past that second date and have almost been together for 17 years. Miracles still do happen :)