Note to Self

Rachelle, please pay attention:

I am not the same person I was before being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I am not the same person I was before having surgery almost 2 years ago.  I am also not the same person I was before being diagnosed with R/A.  I need to keep that in mind and STOP COMPARING MYSELF WITH MY OLD SELF!  It is okay that I am not the same.  I am still beautiful, smart, and able to do many things.  They may be different things than before but I can still love life and live it to it's fullest.

I started today in pain, feeling tired and feeling down.  I started today with 2 pieces of chocolate cake. That may have tasted wonderful, however, it did nothing for how I felt.  As the morning went on, I felt even more down, more tired, and more pain.  I made the decision to go to the gym.  I actually got myself up, got dressed and drove to the gym.  That means that I left the house.  That is huge!  Not even my old self would have done that.

The after effects of making that decision has been good.  I noticed a difference just by getting dressed.  I am still tired and sore but now I have earned the right to feel that way.  I worked hard to feel sore.  I may be tired but it's not the run down, can't focus tired that I normally have. It doesn't make sense but I feel refreshed.  I don't have those down feelings now.  So far I am loving the effects of going to the gym and focusing on just making my body move.

My old self could move and work full time and keep the house perfect and most days could take on the world.  As fun as that was, I am okay with focusing on just a couple things at a time and learning my new limits.  Well, not always okay, but learning to change my thinking so that it is okay.

I need to remember this day...Remember that I "ran" 1.5 miles on the elliptical and it felt great!  Now that I know I can do that, I need to say, "SUCK IT OLD SELF!!!!