Motherhood

 

 With this weekend being Mothers Day weekend I thought I would write some of what it is like for me as a mother. In the past I have written about how wonderful my mom is and how wonderful Kenny's mom is.  They are both amazing and strong women who have (and continue to) give so much of themselves to their families.  As mothers, we all have to give and be strong for our children and it is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs that I have ever had.  After working outside of our home for many years I am happy to be home right now with my boys and to be able to focus on our home and our family.  Working only at home or working both at a job/career and at home can bring so many challenges.  After thinking about this for the past few days I thought that maybe if I share some of my mothering moments that it can help me and anyone else out there to realize that we all face challenges and that none of us are alone.

Loui Toffoli Mother and Child

I'm not sure if anyone else out there has to face two polar opposites in their life while raising your children, but I do.  I am raising my children to know of the things of the world and to be aware of what is out there.  I want the to be well educated so that when and if they are ever faced with challenges they can make good choices using the knowledge that we have taught them.  They know about alcohol and what types there are and what it will do to their bodies as well as what it can lead to (addiction, etc).  They know about drugs and what they can do and lead to.  They know about sex and birth control. They have been taught about these and many other subjects and there really isn't a topic that is off limits because I want them to know that they can always come to me or their father and ask anything that they don't understand.  It may not always be comfortable for us to answer and it may take some time and many prayers to get the words right so that we are staying at their level but they have always gotten an answer to all of their questions.

Picasso Mother and Child

With all of that said, I have had a family member tell me that I am a horrible mother because I am raising my children according to my beliefs and teaching them from the Bible and other religious resources from our religion and therefor according to this person I am teaching them to hate.  I can guarantee that I am only focusing on what I know The Lord wants us to know and I don't ever remember him teaching hate. None-the-less, I am still a bad mom.

From another family member I was given the feeling that they think I'm a bad mom for teaching my children.  After sharing a story about one of my children and how we will joke around with each other I also shared a touching moment when that same child got up in church and shared one of the strongest testimonies that I have ever heard, especially from a child.  This family member then shared their opinion that if my child can know about certain things (nothing serious, it was about coffee) and joke about it then it was amazing to them that my child could also have a testimony of our faith.

Now that I have faced criticism from more than just these two people and many more I would like to take a minute to remind everyone that there isn't a training course or an owners manual that comes with parenthood.  We all have the right to raise our children to our best ability and according to our conscience.  I alone will be the one to appear before God to answer for how I have treated His children and how I have loved and taught them.  If any one of us were to stop and think about that fact alone, I think we would realize that we have enough on our shoulders and that taking time out to be snarky toward another mother is just one more thing to add to our own lives let alone to another mother.

Because of these moments, I am also one who has taken a step back and reevaluated how I look at other parents.  There are still moments when I will shake my head but for the most part I would rather help than be judgmental and take the time to be negative and make someone who may already be having a rough day feel bad.  This is not a perfect world and there may be times when I will still make mistakes and not take the time to think before I act, however, if we could all take a moment to try to see the other mothers side of life we could help instead of tear each other down.  I have carried these negative thoughts with me of being a bad  mom for years.  How many of you have been carrying these thought with you as well?

Chikanobu Mother and Children

Life can be hard enough as it is and when we add in the demands that are placed upon women, not just in our society but in all societies, we really need to try to help each other and lift each other instead of making life harder for each other.  I truly believe that we are all sisters and daughter's of God.  The strength that we each carry within us, if used right, could make this world amazing for our children and for ourselves.

On this Mothers Day I want to wish all women a happy Mothers Day and thank them for all of their hard work!  Keep holding your head up and continue to be the strong mother that you are no matter what may be in front of you. Let us all work together so that we may embrace motherhood and have the strength to face the challenges with grace.